I've always gotten unbelievably nervous when it comes to singing solo, or even in a small group in front of people. I reached out to the music minister at the church I go to, to help me with this. She said she would cantor with me until I got the confidence to sing alone, and we did. The first time cantoring went great, and I thanked God many times for that. However, the second time we sang, what I was afraid of happening, happened. My throat paniced under the nervousness and I sounded like I was trying to sing while dying. I could feel all of the eyes on me, I was so embarresed! I kept asking God the rest of that day: why would you give me such a wonderful voice if I can't show it to anyone? It made me even more nervous for cantoring again the following weekend to the point where I didn't know if I could do it. Some point while I was asleep God came to me. He spoke this verse from the bible:
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Ecc. 3:1-8
I woke up in the morning and thought about it, everything happens for a reason. What happened when I was singing HAD to occur so I could realize the only reason I was nervous was because I was only thinking about myself! He gave me the strength to get up and continue the mass after any confidence I did have had vanished, and now hes given me loads of confidence for this weekend. Sometimes things happen to us that at the time may seem horrible, painful, and unfair, but in reflection we realize that without overcoming those obstacles we would never realize our potential, strength, will power, or heart.
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